Your teen stands in front of the mirror and pulls at their shirt. They change clothes three times before school, refuse to be in pictures or stop wearing things they used to love. You tell them they look beautiful or fine. They roll their eyes, shut the door and both of you leave the conversation feeling
Tantrums can be loud, exhausting, and deeply personal, especially when your child seems to save the biggest ones for you. Most tantrums are part of growing up, but some are signals that a child needs more support than patience and consequences alone can provide.
Some children don’t just prefer to be in charge. They seem to need it. When every routine becomes a negotiation and every change feels like a crisis, parents may wonder whether they’re dealing with defiance, anxiety, or a child who simply doesn’t know how to feel safe without
In my experience, sadly, a child doesn’t normally have the words for heartbreak. They don’t come into the room saying, “I’m traumatized.” They don’t sit down and explain, “My nervous system no longer feels safe in the world.” They don’t say, “I’m afraid that if I let my father out of my sight, something terrible will happen to him too.”
Children
